Why the ‘Visitors’ are really here

     Twice before, I’ve written about Anna, the beautiful and charismatic leader of the Visitors from another planet. 

Morena Baccarin as Anna, the boss lady lizard, on ABC's "V" TV series is stunning in pantyhose during each episode.

     She claims the “V”s “Come in peace.  Always.”   Yeah … not sure anyone’s really buying that, Anna.    

     While Anna’s been selling the Visitors’ unselfish desire to share with us lowly humans their vastly superior medical and environmental technology, clearly, there’s something else going on here. 

     Besides, if the Visitors are so nice, why is there so much fighting going on lately between them and the members of the 5th Column, the resistence group? 

     To discern what’s really going on here, it might be helpful to understand the players – who are the good guys and who are the bad guys?    Well, that’s easy – Anna and the “V”s are the bad guys and the members of the 5th Column are the good guys, right?   Wrong! 

     You see, ABC is clever.  They’re making it look like Anna and the “V”s are the bad guys, but trust me, that just isn’t the case.  Anna is awesome!   First of all, any alien with legs like Anna’s could never be the bad guy.  Secondly, she shows up each and every week decked out in another gorgeous dress or designer suit, complete with high heels, and wearing an absolutely delicious-looking pair of sheer pantyhose.  Clearly, she and the Visitors are the good guys here. 

     So, what’s the real reason the Visitors are here?   Simple:  Anna secretly is a good alien, sent here to heal the hurt and damage caused by an earlier visitor who really was an evil alien – one Carrie Bradshaw.    You remember her – that really terrible character who singlehandedly “ran” pantyhose out of Hollywood, and subsequently, the rest of the planet, with that awful TV series of the mid-1990s, Sex and the City.  

     Anyone who’s ever seen Sarah Jessica Parker – an evil alien visitor to Earth in real life – and that stupid TV series of hers, knows who the real bad guys in the “V” show are.

     Let’s review: Carrie/Sarah Jessica Parker = bad, evil, ugly alien; Anna = good, awesome, beautiful alien.

      Yes, I think it’s clear that Anna and the Visitors are here only to save Earth from itself.   She wants to help Earth women recapture their sense of beauty, femininity, class and grace, but to do this, she and her innocent Visitors have to win us over, while battling members of the resistance group who are intent on ruining the planet by encouraging women to wear dresses, suits, even formal gowns, with gorgeous high heels and, gasp, BARE LEGS. 

     I say let Anna and the Visitors take over the world.  I’d follow her anywhere.  We less-than-exotic Earthlings can really learn from the example she’s setting.   We should thank Anna for being the supreme example of what women should be — or at least how we should look. 

     Please do take over the world, Anna, and make us a more beautiful, glamorous people.

When Pantyhose Attack

     Anna is out of this world.  Way outta this world.

Morena Baccarin as Anna in "V"

      Not sure what planet the head alien in ABC’s “V” television series is from, but we have been promised that these visitors come to Earth in peace.  Or is that “in piece,” meaning they’ve come for a piece of us humans?

     These visitors bring with them a seemingly innocent desire to share with us their medical and technological superiority.

  

     But c’mon.  What’s the catch here?  What do they want from us?  After enthusiastically watching the series last season, and then the premiere of the second season at 9 p.m. est on Tuesday, March 30, 2010, I believe I have figured it all out.

  

     I think we can all agree that the “V”s are an obviously advanced civilization.  And Anna, its beautiful, classy and elegant leader, appears to be on a one-alien mission to see that women on all planets in the universe assume such power roles. 

  

     Anna knows that the only way she can accomplish her goal of having women run the world is to first win over all the men on Earth.  To do that, she has to dress for success, so she routinely wears incredibly awesome designer suits, high heels and some delicious-looking sheer pantyhose.  Upon beholding this absolute goddess, all men on Earth instantly pledge total loyalty to Anna. They will kill or die for her.  And rightfully so.  

 

SPOILER ALERT:  Now, with control over all men, Anna turns her attention to training women in the finer art of beauty, grace and glamour, preparing them to fulfill their destiny as rulers of the world.  After all, if the charismatic leader of such vastly superior beings wouldn’t dream of going out in public without wearing pantyhose, how could mere human women? 

 

    Anna definitely has the right idea here, and I for one, salute her most ambitious goal.  Females are more highly evolved creatures and clearly should be running things.   But we’ve got to start looking the part again. 

 

     Thank you, Anna, for being the shining example of what all  women could be.   So ladies, if you’ve always wanted to be an alien – or just look like one - tune in to ABC at 9 p.m. est on Tuesday nights and start supporting the cause. 

 

     Unfortunately, at the end of the show, I read this disclaimer, which I’ve witten word-for-word below.  This is very discouraging to me: 

The characters and events depicted in this motion picture are fictional.  Any similarity to any actual person, living or dead, or to any actual events, firms, and institutions or other entities, is coincidental and unintentional.

 

Darn.  Somewhere, Sarah Jessica Parker must be smiling.

Even Aliens wear Pantyhose

Robin Maryland, president, ActSensuous

     Earth girls, you should be ashamed. 

     So many of you think that it’s not hip, or you just plain can’t be bothered to wear pantyhose, yet, Anna, the leader of the VISITORS from another planet showed up at 8 p.m. EST Tuesday Nov. 3, looking totally hot in a gorgeous suit, high heels and some absolutely delicious looking pantyhose.

     Hmmmmm, what should we make of this?  I mean the “V” are a highly advanced civilization from another world.  They’ve come to Earth, ostensibly, because they need some of our water to enable them to make it back home from their intergalactic roadtrip,  and in exchange they’ll give us low lifes some of their superior technological knowledge. 

     I think there’s a lesson here.   If you’re visiting another planet and trying to make a good first impression, especially when you bill yourself as the female leader of an advanced civilization, you and your female beings should wear pantyhose.  Otherwise, your bare legs might show themselves for what they really are — scaley skinned reptile limbs.

     I don’t know about you, but the “V” got my vote.  I like them.  Not that I am falling for this whole “We come in peace” line of theirs, but hey, if we Earthlings are gonna end up as din-din for a bunch of reptiles disguised as humans, I want their leader to at least have the good taste to wear pantyhose with her designer outfits.

     “Take me to your leader.  I want to tell her she is a real credit to females of the human race — er, to looking like one, anyway.”

     OK, I know it doesn’t take much to make my day, but I am just delighted that the costumer for the ”V” didn’t lower himself or herself to Earthly standards of dress, or what is supposedly the fashion of today, and dress the aliens in bare legs.   

     I love that these highly advanced alien beings come to Earth and, in trying to fit in, go with a look that isn’t what’s supposedly hip right now, but rather the one that is classy and in good taste.  It kinda exposes the bare legs culture of today for what it really is — a fad that won’t last because when it comes right down to it, wearing beautiful dresses, skirts or suits with high heels and bare legs just isn’t attractive, and certainly isn’t classy. 

     I ask you, readers: Do you like “V” and its star alien, Morena Baccarin as Anna?

      Also, please take our new poll, and feel free to write in your own choice in the last space.  (Or, if you prefer, leave a comment and tell me who your celebrity choice is).