Category Archives: Meredith Vieira pantyhose

Grizzly confronts pantyhose maven


Robin Maryland, president, ActSensuous

Robin Maryland,
president, ActSensuous

As my loyal readers know, besides their comments here, I receive tons of private emails concerning everything you can imagine about pantyhose (but, almost always clean and classy, which I appreciate).

Naturally, I’m always interested in hearing the views of others, so I am open to receiving unexpected emails or letters to our P.O. Box.

But nothing could have prepared me for the note that was slipped under my door recently. It was like a scene from the X-Files. It’s almost midnight and I’m still working alone in my office.

With the place dimly lit, I notice an ominous shadow cast under the door jam. I’m a little anxious. Who’d be calling on me at this hour? This can’t be good. Then, a note is slid under my door and the shadow just as suddenly disappears.

Office scene.jpg Typically, I don’t get too excited about a hand-delivered note as long as it’s not a bill or a jury summons.

But this had a strange sense of urgency about it, so I read it at once. Hand-scrawled on scrap paper, it read:

“Dear Rob (I was surprised, as only my closest friends call me Rob),

If you consider yourself a responsible journalist, you won’t pass up the opportunity to expose the discrimination and repression that has been wrought against beardom for the past zillion years or so.”

It was signed simply: The Grizzly

At first, I thought the whole thing was a prank, but the next day an invitation came via a text message (how do these people get my number?) with a time and date to meet The Grizzly at his office (I didn’t know Grizzly bears even have offices) for an exclusive interview. I have to admit, I was filled with some level of trepidation. What could The Grizzly want with me? Was this about my poaching Sarah Jessica Parker — his signature client in his “bear” legs cause? Did he want a piece of me?

So, I reread the note. Yes, he wanted a piece alright. The Grizzly was inviting me to write a piece about … what did he call it … oh, yes, the discrimination and repression of beardom.   Hmmmm, my arch enemy was reaching out to me to shed light on an issue that was troubling not only him, but “all of beardom.” (I hadn’t realized there’s a beardom.)

While I probably should have thought better of the idea, the curiosity was too much for me to “bear” (yuk yuk), so I accepted the invitation, and a limousine arrived for me the next morning. Wow, The Grizzly certainly has a sense of class and style, sending a limo for me.  And it was a nice ride to a more well-to-do neighborhood than I expected.

Welcome .jpg FinalThe entrance and driveway were impressive enough, and then I looked up at a very large and really tall house before The Grizzly came out to meet me. I was shocked at how big this guy really is. Must be 14 feet tall, and I couldn’t even begin to guess how much he weighs.   I was certain my kung fu would be of no use against such a specimen.  I had willingly walked into the bear’s domain and was on my own now.

To my relief, The Grizzly was quite formal and engaging. He invited me into his office. He called it the den. (I thought that was clever.)   It was warm and cozy, kind of like a man cave, only he’s a Grizzly, so I’d have to say it was a bear cave. He took a seat in the den in a plush chair that probably should have been a lot bigger.  

He got right to the point:

“Being The Grizzly is no picnic,” he said.

Picnic BearI stifled a giggle. “No picnic.” That was cute. Bears certainly are linked to picnics, I thought, and I couldn’t stop this image from forming in my head.   But somehow he must have gotten that same image because in his version, the bear’s picnic basket was packed generously with ActSensuous pantyhose for food.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he continued. “I mean, yeah, I’m at the top of the food chain and all in my world.  But people are really missing the point here. If it weren’t for my role as champion of the bare legs cause, no one would care about bears.”

“Wait a minute, you mean you represent that ugly subculture of women who hate pantyhose just for the attention,” I asked?

“Oh, it’s all PR,” he said. “I do it strictly for the image.”

“Seriously, Grizzly bears have an image problem,” I asked?

“Think about it,” he said. “What kind of images do you associate with bears?”

Brown bear taxiHe was right. The first thing that came to my mind was hunting. Then, all kinds of terrible thoughts hit me, such as a mounted bear inside a cabin at a resort, and those huge bear skin rugs in front of fireplaces.

“Come to think of it, there are a lot of dreadful things humans associate with bears,” I admitted, swallowing hard.

“Yeah, well, that aint the half of it, sister,” he said. “Bears have been pushed around, disrespected and abused since time immemorial.

So, look, you showed up, proving you’re a responsible journalist after all. You want to hear my story, and will you print it in your blog?”

I agreed. And so the interview began. And, being true to my part of the agreement, here is the transcript of the interview between myself and The Grizzly:

The interview

Interview with The Grizzly


Robin: So, you’re saying bears have always had it bad?

Grizz movie posterGrizzly: Oh yeah, we get no respect. Never have. From always being depicted as the bad guys in movies, to being falsely accused of terrorizing campers … heck, just in everyday life, you humans are always dissing bears.

Robin: Really, always in everyday life? Gimme an example.            

Grizzly:  How much time you got?   There are so many examples.  Take everyday phrases you people say, using my species’ namesake.  They’re all negative:  There’s “Bear with me” when you’re taking too long to accomplish something. There’s “I can’t bear it” when you’re dealing with a hardship. There’s “bear down” when you’re taking on a difficult project. And then, there’s my all-time favorite: “Does a bear sh** in the woods?”

Robin: (Again, I tried not to laugh, remembering I had said after reading The Grizzly’s note in my office: “… the curiosity was too much for me to bear.”)

Robin: Well, I’m not sure you had to include that last one, but OK, I’ll give you that there are many things people say that have a negative connotation toward bears, although  really, they’re not intended that way. Still, there’s at least one positive “bear” phrase you should like.

Grizzly: Yeah, what’s that?

Robin:   “I come bearing gifts.”   

Grizzly: I come baring legs.

Robin: Haaaaaaa, good one!

Grizzly: Sorry, couldn’t resist. You walked right in to that one.

Robin: Yeah, I tend to do that.  I mean, I’m here, aint I?   But, really, not all movies make you the bad guy.

Grizzly: Name one that doesn’t.

Robin: Everybody loves Baloo the Bear in the movie, The Jungle Book. “Look for the bear necessities …”

Grizzly: Please stopping singing that.  I won’t be able to get that song out of my head for weeks now. Anyway, humans think that movie is cute, but at its essence, it’s embarrassing at best to bears.

Robin: Really?  Sorry to hear that.  OK, what about Smoky the Bear?  He’s certainly a good guy. He ought to be a role model for all bears. Heck, you’ve got a poster of him on your wall there.

Grizzly:  He’s … what’s the word I’m looking for … oh yeah, slow.

Robin: What?

Grizzly: Alright, he’s not slow really. But we bears don’t care for him.  He’s a little too chummy with you humans.

Robin: OK, that’s a bit disturbing to hear, especially now.   I think he’s a positive and endearing figure. We humans love Smoky the Bear.

Grizzly: Remember, only YOU can prevent forest rangers!

Robin: Uh, that’s forest fires.

Grizzly: That’s not how we bears say it.

Robin: OK, now I’m really nervous.  On to a different subject.  Could it be that you’re too defensive about your role in pop culture?

Grizzly: Look, bears have had a bad rap since as far back as the 1800s when that libelous story first came out about three bears and some snot-nosed little brat.

Robin: Goldilocks and the Three Bears?  Oh, c’mon, that’s one of the most popular fairy tales of all time.

Grizzly: Well, it didn’t start out that way. You should Google that title.

Robin: (The Grizzly uses Google?)

Grizzly: Originally, the Goldilocks character was an old hag who busted into a bear family’s cottage all uninvited you know. Today, that’s known as a home invasion. Then, she had the nerve to eat up their porridge and try to stay.  Nowadays, you call that squatting. And then, when the bear family comes home, she freaks out and bolts, accidentally falling to her death. But, it was the bears who got the blame for that, and we’ve been the bad guys ever since.

Robin:  Yeah, but another author came along later and changed the old hag character into a pretty little girl with golden hair who was actually treated more hospitably by the three bears. What about that?

Grizzly: Oh, sure, that innocent little girl. She broke into the bear family’s cottage, ate up their porridge, broke Baby Bear’s chair and then slept in Papa Bear’s bed.  Little brat probably even peed in the bed. Yet, she’s the hero. Little kids all over the world grow up thinking it’s OK to take advantage of bears, all because Goldilocks became a star.

Robin: Well, it’s just a fairy tale. And, I’d hardly call her a star. In fact, for the most part, Goldilocks has been all but forgotten for years.

Grizzly: Not by bears. We’re reminded of her every time we see a Chevy Chase movie co-starring that blonde who just so happens to be a direct descendant of Goldilocks.

Robin: Who’s that?

Grizzly: You know … Goldie Hawn.                                        

Robin: Ohhhhh, Goldilocks/Goldie Hawn. I get it.

Grizzly:  She had it all, that Goldie Hawn.  Beauty, talent, brains, and she was funny as heck.  And she really was a star. And, I’m sure you love the fact that she was a devoted pantyhose wearer in her day.

No matter the role or the scene, Goldie Hawn could be counted on to wear sheer nude or suntan pantyhose.

No matter the role or the scene, Goldie Hawn always could be counted on to wear sheer suntan (left) or nude pantyhose (above).

A3823%20Bird%20on%20a%20Wire1

Robin: Well, sure, I loved Goldie Hawn for all her talent and especially because she always wore sheer suntan or nude pantyhose in every movie of hers I ever saw.

But you ought to feel a little vindicated by the fact that Goldie’s actress daughter, Kate Hudson, doesn’t seem to share her mother’s sense of professionalism, class and good taste, to say nothing of femininity.  Shame, too, because the few times she does wear sheer pantyhose, she looks amazing. But for now anyway, it certainly seems she’s more likely to be seen bear-legged.

Grizzly: When you write up the transcript of this interview, how are you going to spell what you just said there?

Robin: What, bear-legged?  Uh, b a r e …

Grizzly: Riiiiiiight.

Robin: Heh heh heh. Well, speaking of that, you mentioned earlier that you champion the whole bear-legs cause just for the PR.  How’s that been working out for you?

Grizzly: During the mid-to-late ‘90s and the entire decade of 2000, it rocked to be The Grizzly. I mean, bare legs was all the rage. Women everywhere were wearing fabulous dresses or skirts, designer shoes with beautiful pedicures and then completely ruining the outfits with their bare legs. That was awesome! It really looked ridiculous, but they were all brainwashed. They even dressed that way at the office. Heck, even to weddings and funerals. Suddenly, bears were getting the love we always deserved.

Robin: Wait, you just said that the bear-legs look was ridiculous. Does that mean you really don’t hate pantyhose?

Grizzly snackGrizzly: No-no, not at all. I love pantyhose. They taste great. They’re my main source of fiber these days. C’mon, you’ve seen the pics. You’ve published them in your blog. Bears everywhere love ripping pantyhose — especially your brand — to shreds.

Listen, I’ve got a whole new image to uphold these days. I told you, I’m in this campaign for the good publicity. If women want to bare their legs in even the most professional or formal of venues, no matter how awful they look, that’s just good for business as far as I’m concerned?

Robin: I’ve never been able to figure out how so many women throughout the world lost their minds this way.     

Grizzly: Oh, you called it from the beginning: It was that whole Sex and the City thing that gave women the idea they could stop wearing pantyhose, coinciding with the casualization of the office in general. This just got women all over the world to jump on that bandwagon until bare legs turned into pop culture. I told you: Humans are easily influenced by a good story and a convincing actress.

Robin: Yeah, you really did have a pretty good run there with Sarah Jessica Parker, didn’t you?

Grizzly: You really shouldn’t remind me about that while you’re in The Grizzly’s den. But, yeah, we had a good thing going for a while there. She had women everywhere fooled for a long time. I still can’t believe you stole my best client.

Robin: Well, I didn’t really steal her from you.  I merely set the record straight. She was just playing a part on TV and in the movies. But it became clear that in real life, she wasn’t truly the pantyhose hater everyone thought she was. I had to give her Credit ‘wear’ Credit is Due.

Grizzly: I gotta admit: It hurt losing SJP. I thought we were close.

Robin: I did feel a little bad about that. But it was touching to see how you tried so hard to win her back. Very romantic you were.

Grizzly: Yeah, I’ll miss her. She and I were good together.

Robin: Actually, I always thought your true signature client was Stacy London.  I see you’ve got that picture of the two of you on your table there.

cid_422344d3-5af2-47c9-8349-8a3b6eeba827

“Fashion consultant” Stacy London of the reality TV show, ‘What Not to Wear,’ received the first Grizzly Award, on Dec. 6, 2011, and she appeared to be quite pleased about it.

Grizzly: Oh, what a great moment for beardom it was when she was bestowed with the inaugural Grizzly Award.   https://actsensuous.wordpress.com/2011/12/06/a-grizzly-goes-to-london/

And, boy, does Stacy London deserve it.  Still, SJP was a bigger star.  And the damage she did, whether intentionally or not, was good enough to sustain the bare-legs cause for probably a while to come still.                    

Robin: You might be right about that, but surely, you’ve noticed that it’s been more and more difficult for me to find a celebrity who’s truly deserving of The Grizzly Awards.

Grizzly: I have noticed that. And don’t call me Shirley.

Robin: Good gosh, who knew The Grizzly has a sense of humor?

Grizzly: Hey, I told you: It’s all about the PR, and humor is my calling card. But to answer your question, yes, membership in the bare legs club definitely has waned recently.  I mean there are still a few celebs who — since the opportunity to not wear was created in the first place — probably will never wear pantyhose again. I’ll go through my Rolodex and send you some names.

Robin: Really, you’d do that for me?  Wow, what a guy.  Wait a minute, you have a Rolodex?

Grizzly: Hey, you know the saying: “Keep your friends close, and your enemies over for dinner.” Or, something like that.

Robin: Uhhhhh, let’s be friends, not enemies, shall we?

Grizzly:  You really shouldn’t consider me the enemy. After all, I made you.                     

Robin:  Uhhhhhh, I’m sorry, come again?

Grizzly:  C’mon, your blog would be just another pile of dull crap about pantyhose on the Internet if it weren’t for The Grizzly Awards and your whole “bear” legs thing.  I have to admit, that was very clever.

Robin: Yeah, thanks, but I don’t know about that whole “you made me thing.” I kinda think I’ve made you. If you weren’t the face (or the legs, actually) of the “bear”-legs franchise, what would you being doing right now … stealing pic-i-nic baskets?

Grizzly: Oh, that was low …

Robin: Hey, it’s one more example of how you’re wrong about humans’ feelings toward bears. Everyone loves Yogi, ya know.

Grizzly: Uh, yeah, he’s a bit slow, too.

Robin: Oh boy!  OK, let’s get back to the fact that it’s increasingly difficult for me to find a celebrity today who is truly deserving of The Grizzly Awards because even if one thinks of her as a bear legger, at least occasionally, she can be seen wearing pantyhose. I don’t want to be thought of as unjustly attacking a celebrity who might be loved by many in either the pantyhose or the bear-legs camps. It would be too easy for someone to counter with: “Wait a minute, look at this picture: She was wearing pantyhose for this occasion, or at that venue.”   I could lose credibility if I pick on someone who does wear at least once in a while.

Grizzly: No, no, no, you gotta go with the percentages, kiddo. There are still quite a few celebs out there who wear pantyhose out and about — and I know how much you love that — but then, they go bare-legged to a formal ceremony, such as The Oscars or The Grammy Awards.  And I know how much you hate that.

Robin: Exactly. I truly hate that.

Grizzly: So present them with The Grizzly Awards already.

Robin: I would, but sometimes the lines are a bit blurred. It’s tough to tell who’s who in this contest.

Grizzly: C’mon, you know who these people are. I know a part of you feels it would be the right thing to do to hand out The Grizzly Award to Sandra Oh. Am I right? You know I’m right. You really do want to give Sandra Oh the coveted Grizzly Award, don’t you? It’s OK, you can say it. Everyone knows you do. You never see that chick in pantyhose, but you’re torn because the few times she did wear in the past, you think she looked amazing, and you loved her, and now you don’t want to make her look bad.

Robin: Man, you got me pegged.   How do you know these things? Who’ve you been talking with?

Grizzly:  Hellooooo, I read your blog, ya know. Want me to name others just like Sandra Oh?

Robin: Oh, please do. Wait, you read my blog? What a day this is turning into. The things I’m learning here.                                                         

Grizzly: OK, buckle your seatbelt. This aint gonna be pretty. You will not like some of these, but if you’re honest, you’ll have to admit I’m right.

Robin: Go for it.

Grizzly: Let’s just stay on the whole Asian theme. Your beloved Asian actresses you think are so wonderful. Here we go: Bai Ling, Devon Aoki, Gong Li, Jamie Cheung, Joan Chen, Lucy Liu, Maggie Q, Michelle Yeoh — that’s right, I said Michelle Yeoh. That one particularly hurts, doesn’t it?

Robin: Yes, that one really kills me. And the others hurt too.

Grizzly: But wait, there’s more: Jun Ji-hyun, Marie Matiko (has she ever worn a pair of pantyhose in her entire life?), Moon Bloodgood, Olivia Munn, Uhm Jung-hwa.

Robin: Stop, stop already. I love all of them, and they’ve each been known to wear pantyhose so beautifully, at least once in a while. You’re cruel.

Grizzly: Talk to the paw, Honey, talk to the paw. I just call ‘em as I see ‘em.

Robin: Well, you are right about Marie Matiko. I have never ever seen a single picture of her wearing pantyhose.  And that is so strange, as she is Japanese and wearing sheer pantyhose is practically the law in Japan.  I guess Marie Matiko is too Americanized to care.

BLV

But including Jun Ji-hyun (aka Jun Ji-hyeon, aka Gianna Jun) on your list is baffling to me.   Ji-Hyun wears pantyhose 10 times more frequently than all of those actresses you mentioned combined.  With me, she’ll always get credit for her starring role in the movie Blood: The Last Vampire (above), as she wore sheer nude pantyhose with her Japanese schoolgirl outfit.  (Note: Jun Ji-hyun, featured in this blog a few years ago, actually is Korean.)

https://actsensuous.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/a-treat-when-pantyhose-show-up-unexpectedly/

fullsizephoto365739

Jun Ji-hyun attends a press conference for her movie, The Thieves, a few years ago in Korea.

But, here’s the thing: She often appears wearing sheer pantyhose while attending press conferences (right) and movie premiers, and when performing in television commercials.

And if that weren’t enough, she’s also a professional model who almost always wears sheer pantyhose to cover some of the biggest international fashion magazines (below).

Yes, I love Jun Ji-hyun.

september-issue-2013-fashion-vogue-korea-jeon-ji-hyun

Jun Ji-hyun covers a recent edition of  fashion magazine, Vogue, in Korea.

Grizzly:  Yeah, yeah … OK, fine.  I’ll give you that one.   I can understand why you’re so high  on her.

She does seem to do everything right in your world.

Robin: Yes, she really is a class act in every way.  She is a very popular actress, beloved for her romantic comedies, which is why it was a such a surprise that she starred in Blood: The Last Vampire, and did an excellent job transitioning into a physical/martial arts genre.

And she certainly sets a great example for younger Asian celebs, who might otherwise attempt to emulate the way  Hollywood celebrities dress.

Robin: OK, so can we stop now?

Grizzly: Sure.

Robin: Thank you.

Grizzly: Kelly Hu.

Robin: Who?

Grizzly: Kelly H … Oh, OK, I see.   You got me with that one.   Niiiiiiiiice.

Robin: Sorry, couldn’t resist. Yeah, Kelly Hu — a gorgeous woman with great legs. Such a waste that she seems to never have heard of the word, pantyhose. Sure, there’s the extremely rare time when she wears black tights or fishnets with high boots, but that doesn’t count in my book. Why hide those legs in pantyhose under boots?

Grizzly: See what I mean? You’ve got a lot of choices to hand out a Grizzly Award. Want me to name the non-Asian celebs now?

Robin: No.

Grizzly: Amy Adams, Angelina Jolie, Eva Longoria, Gabrielle Anwar, Jennifer Aniston, Julianna Margulies, Leah Remini, Mila Kunis, Morena Baccarin, Rachel McAdams, Renee Zellweger, Robin Tuney, Sandra Bullock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Shahi, Teri Hatcher, Yancy Butler …

Robin: But …

Grizzly: Yeah?

Robin: OK, fine.  Darn, those are some good names on your list. What happened to them? Of course, pantyhose lovers are happy that Julianna Margulies wears sheer nude pantyhose on The Good Wife, but she never wears during a late night talk show, and I’m guessing never to an awards show, or even when she’s out and about. That means she wears on The Good Wife only because she has to. If it were up to her, I’m sure she wouldn’t wear on that show.

Grizzly: Now you’re getting it. You’ve just been looking at it all wrong.

Robin:  Oh my goodness, I’m so confused now.

Grizzly: Listen, just because you’ve seen each one of them wear pantyhose in the past, or even recently on a TV show, or in a movie, you have to look at their complete body of work.   Most of them, left to their own devices, are going to go bare-legged. There really are a few of them who most definitely deserve to receive The Grizzly Award. In fact, I’ve got  one I am sure you’ve never thought of, whom I would venture to say has never worn pantyhose a day in her whole life.

Robin: Really?  Oh, do tell, do tell.

Grizzly:  I don’t want to spoil it for your readers by mentioning her here now. Tell you what … I’ll text you later, and you’ll agree with me. Then, she can be your next recipient of The Grizzly Awards.

Robin: Oh, c’mon, just give me a hint? (Wait a minute … The Grizzly can text?)

Grizzly: OK, sure. Actually, it might be fun for your readers. They know these things. In fact, they’ve probably already thought of this one. She’s an actress in her mid-30s and her initials are JB. I guarantee you won’t be able to find a single picture of her in sheer pantyhose.

Robin: Really? Can’t wait to learn who this one is.

Grizzly: Yeah, and here’s another candidate for you. Her initials are BB.

Robin: Game show host?

Grizzly: Bingo.

Robin: Yeah, I hate her. She’s gorgeous, but totally unprofessional. She never wears. She definitely deserves to receive The Grizzly Award. Actually, I wish Grizzlies would just eat her. No one I know would mind if a Grizzly just devoured her.

Readers, know the celebs (JB and BB) The Grizzly and Robin are talking about?  Tell us who they are via email (robin@actsensuous.com), and if you’re right, win one or two free pairs of ActSensuous pantyhose.

Receive one free pair for correctly naming one celebrity; get two free pairs for correctly naming both.

Only one email entry per reader please.

 

Grizzly: Now you’re coming around. You’ve been too nice, especially, when it comes to the borderline types. I say even though they used to be consistent pantyhose-wearers, if they have been seen more often bare-legged, they’re fair game for you.

Robin: Geez, you’re right, Grizz.  I really don’t understand some of these people.

Grizzly: Hey, listen, they don’t call it Hollyweird for nothing. (Grizz? Only my closest friends call me Grizz.)                                                   

Rob: OK, now on the other hand … check that … on the other paw (snicker), who would you say are some of the more famous celebrities who never bought in to the bear-legs culture from the get-go, or at least the ones who most consistently wear pantyhose for all the right reasons.

Grizz: Oh, you gotta go with Anne Hathaway, Christine Baransky, Christie Brinkley, Jessica Alba, Kim Basinger, Katie Holmes, Megan Fox, Meredith Vieira, Milla Jovovich, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek, Sofia Vergara, Zooey Deschanel, and of course, that gal named Kate who’s now in England.

Rob: Oh, yes, Kate Middleton should get a Nobel Peace Prize for practically bringing pantyhose back from the grave. That’s very good. You really know your celebs.

Grizz: Rosario Dawson.

Rob: I’m sorry …

Grizz: Rosario Dawson.

Nickelodeon's 24th Annual Kids' Choice Awards - ArrivalsRob: Oh my goodness, you are soooooo right again. She is extremely classy all the time. I don’t think she ever bought in to that whole bear-legs deal. That lovely woman always wears the most sheer, sexy pantyhose and looks absolutely stunning in them.

Note: Well, that’s what I thought anyway. In doing a search on the Internet for a current picture to use here, I didn’t see one new picture of Rosario wearing pantyhose since the many I had filed away during the past few years.  That makes me wonder whether she ultimately gave in to the pressure from other bear-legged celebrities. That would be such a shame.

Grizz:  Now, listen: I’ve given up some good leads for those who deserve consideration for your Credit “wear” Credit is Due feature.   That, and because you stole my signature client away from me, it’s time for a little quid pro quo here. I want the name of the celebrity you feel is the most devoted bare-legger, the one you hate the most, to replace SJP as my signature client. C’mon, give it up. Who’s my next recipient of the prestigious Grizzly Awards?

Rob: OK, sure, that’s fair. Here’s a hint for you: Her first name is the same as the main character on that show that is generally credited with starting the bear-legs movement.

Grizz: OK, Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City. Carrie … Carrie … Ohhhhhhhh, Carrie Underwood. Yeah, good one. I’ll take her. That’s a great trade.

Rob: Yeah, I really hate that bimbo. How unprofessional of her to perform the Sunday Night Football theme song in bear legs and cowboy boots in back-to-back seasons. And, in every appearance she makes on other shows I’ve seen, she does the whole bear legs thing. That one has zero class. You can have her and keep her. And please eat her, too.  I don’t ever want to have to look at those pasty white bony legs of hers again.

b7Grizz: OK, done. By the way, I will say this: You’ve definitely nailed the one young celeb who really deserves all the praise you’ve heaped upon her and the huge amount of love for how devoted to pantyhose she is.

Rob: Oh, I know who you’re talking about — Ariana

Grizz:  Grande. Yes, l can foresee her causing me all kinds of trouble in my efforts to recruit future bare-leggers. She is a gem in your camp. How can a girl that young have so much professionalism, class, grace and femininity during a time when your young people prefer to dress like homeless people?  Does she have stock in your company? Be honest, you’ve bought her, right?

Rob: Haaaaa, I would have, but no, she’s done this completely on her own. I’m as amazed as you are. She certainly appears to be the real deal, and I hope she stays that way because right now, she’s one in a million. I know pantyhose lovers everywhere appreciate Ariana for her devotion to wearing sheer pantyhose, not only on stage, but at publicity functions, most often at awards shows, and even just out and about. She is setting such a good example for her young fans, and like Kate Middleton, Ariana, might some day be credited with helping pantyhose make a comeback. Yes, she is almost too good to be true.

Grizz: Exactly, too good to be true. So enjoy her while you can.

Rob: Wait. What do you mean by that?

Grizz: Oh you know as well as I do that good things like her don’t last forever. You’ll see. Whatever it is that causes her to dress so nicely and wear sheer pantyhose is likely to change some day, and then I will be there to scoop her up. She’ll be my new prized client.

Rob: Now that would be a real shame. I hope you’re wrong. OK, now here’s one more thing I’ve been dying to ask you about. Hope you’re ready because this one hits close to home.

Grizz: Fire away …

Rob: What’s with so many celebs, professional models and even everyday ladies from all over the world wearing pantyhose while hobnobbing with bears? I would have thought you’d forbid “beardom” (love that word) from partaking in such debauchery. Yet, it’s out there. Some very beautiful ladies wearing pantyhose while snuggling with bears.

Grizz: Oh, sure, throw that in my face.

Rob: Warned ya.

 Grizz: I’ll have to see it to believe it.

 Rob: You will when you see my finished piece. I think you’ll find it disturbing, this trend of beautiful models and other celebs getting all lovey dovey with bears.

Grizz: I’ll tell you right now, those must be rogue bears who are not part of the union.   I can’t be held accountable for their actions.

 Rob: Well, I like the pics because they bring closer those who should be enemies. Kind of like you and me, Grizz.

Grizz: Don’t push it, Rob. I haven’t eaten yet and I’m as hungry as a bear.

And with that, the interview ended and Grizz walked me out, stopping in the family room this time where he proudly showed off his family portrait.

Bear tour

And don’t think I didn’t notice all the other bear memorabilia in the room where Grizz’s cubs play, including the Goldilocks and the Three Bears dolls, the books, and all the Chicago Bears fan stuff.

In any case, what I had feared would be an uncomfortable meeting turned out to be anything but. The Grizzly was professional and classy. He was even cute and charming. I left feeling like I’d made a new friend. But I ain’t going out to eat with him. That’s for sure.

As I was getting in the limo to return to my office, I thought of my best question, so I blurted out:

“Hey, Grizz. If bears have had it so bad for so long, how are you able to live in a great house like this and have a limo driver at your disposal?”

Farewell Grizzly Candy“When it’s important to maintain a big image these days, one must diversify,” he said. “That’s why I invented these a long time ago.”

Gummy Bears!  Wouldn’t you just know it?  And I had been feeling sorry for Grizz. Looks like he’s in the game for the long haul, just like me. And that’s a good thing. We are good for one another.

 

My thanks to J. Aton of ATON DIGITAL STUDIOS for his original artwork for ActSensuous. Check out  J. Aton’s artist website and online portfolio at www.atondigitalstudios.com


 Pantyhose babes hobnobbing with bears

 

bearloungepage

The late Elizabeth Montgomery, perhaps best known for her portrayal of Samantha Stevens in the 1960s TV sitcom, “Bewitched,” was friendly with at least one bear.

 

 

A Grizzly goes to London


Robin Maryland, president, ActSensuous

Readers of this blog have come to know and appreciate my column, Credit ‘wear’ Credit is Due, in which I heap loads of praise on some worthy celebrities for their devotion to wearing pantyhose.

And we’ve had some great ones, haven’t we?  Ann Curry, Fran Drescher, The T-Mobile Girl (Carly Foulkes), Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, Kate Middleton, and Carrie Ann Inaba (for doing a complete 180 and finally wearing pantyhose on every episode of the game show “1 vs. 100,” which she hosted recently.)

Minus that headline, I’ve also glorified some other devoted pantyhose wearers, such as Anne Hathaway, Julianna Margulies, Milla Jovovich, Meredith Vieira, Katy Perry, Parker Posey, Linda Fiorentino, Kim Basinger, Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock.  And there are many, many more who deserve such recognition.

Then, a couple of months ago, I introduced a whole different column.  This one shines the spotlight on those celebs who completely miss the boat, just don’t get it, lack the finest sense of true femininity, and always miss opportunites to show some real professionalism, elegance or class.

So, for only the second time, I am handing out the coveted (NOT) ActSensuous Grizzly Award.

And this time, the hardware goes to one Stacy London.

Fashion consultant Stacy London always wears beautiful dresses and high heels, but unfortunately, she's a devoted and vocal follower of the "bear" legs culture.

That’s right, the co-host of  TV’s “What Not to Wear,” a reality makeover show, in which London and her wonder boy sidekick, Clinton Kelly, use their superior brains and good taste (yes, I’m being sarcastic here) to completely trash the wardrobe of their guests and reinvent them in their own fashionwise images.

And, as many normal people have written in comments to online postings by or about these two “fashion experts,” they often do it in a completely arrogant and insulting manner.

A perfect "Beauty and the Beast" scenario as the professional and classy Meredith Vieira, left, who always wears pantyhose, interviews fashion expert Stacy London, who never wears pantyhose. Does London not see how much better Vieira's legs look than hers?

As readers of this blog know, I despise so-called “fashion experts” who make universal rules and tell everyone what they can and cannot wear, as if their likes or dislikes about fashion trends are somehow more appropriate and obviously more sound than what anyone else on the planet thinks.  It’s “fashion experts” like these two who’ve come up with the “rule” that one can never wear pantyhose with open-toe high heel dress shoes a rule that, incidentally, is almost never followed by anyone with half a brain, and one that is standing up less and less to scrutiny everywhere.

So Stacy London, possibly the queen of all “fashion experts,” gets the second Grizzly Award (after Sarah Jessica Parker for obvious reasons)?  But it’s not just because she’s a “fashion expert.”  Rather, it’s because she’s on record as stating that she likes bare legs for all seasons.  That, and she’s using her credentials and influence to further her own agenda — a personal dislike and distaste for pantyhose as a fashion accessory.

Here’s are a couple of excerpts from a 2008 segment of TODAY.com where London is a style contributor, answering readers’ questions about fashion:

Q: I was watching “What Not to Wear” when you appeared horrified by the idea of wearing hose. I know it’s not really the style now to wear nylons, but I have terrible spider veins on my white legs. What do I do now that skirts are knee-length and those veins are so obvious? Any advice?

A: First of all, the only hose I really hate are the semi-sheer ones in suntan or black. They look dated and remind me of a time when women would walk to work in their suits, those hose, white sweat socks and white leather aerobic sneakers. Blech. Might as well throw in a whole can of hairspray, too. Too ’80s!  Stay away from anything that has a mid-range denier number that indicates the sheerness of the hose (10 is very sheer, 30 is semi-sheer and 50 is opaque).

I recommend a good self-tanner for the pale-leg situation, but also realize that won’t help with spider veins. Look for opaque tights and try them in a subtle color, like a burgundy or deep purple, when wearing a neutral-color knee-length skirt or suit. They will hide your legs and add a visual punch to your outfits!

Q: You indicated that pantyhose were no longer proper attire. You stated that in summer, go with bare legs and in winter, wear tights.  I enjoy wearing pantyhose and want to know if I am old-fashioned if I wear them?

A:  I did not mean to indicate in my last segment that pantyhose are no longer appropriate attire. My feeling is that those that are considered day sheer or mid-denier don’t look modern, but a bit dated.  The denier number on hose shows you how sheer the stocking will be. The lower the number, the more sheer they are.

For example, a denier of 10 will be supersheer. These are great for evening, especially with a little shine or a back seam, as they look natural and simply enhance the legs for evening. A denier of 30, is what I have most trouble with; it’s neither here nor there. It’s not sheer. It’s not opaque. You know? It’s like a relationship: Either you’re in or you’re out. This wishy-washy sheerness dates an outfit to the ’70s or ’80s, when this style was most popular. But when you get to a denier of 50 or above, and the stocking is clearly opaque, I think this becomes a more modern and relevant look. A shiny tight like this can be used for day or evening.

OK, first, the country’s leading fashion expert comes out and blatantly tells women to go with bare legs in the summer?  She also tells women to use self-tanner for pale legs?  Seriously?  Second, she recommends opague tights in a subtle color, “like burgundy or deep purple?”  (Those colors are subtle?)

Stacy London actually wore this outfit during the Keep A Child Alive's 5th annual Black Ball Nov. 13, 2008 at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York, NY.

Hey, look, I respect others’ opinions, and the fact that London is considered a fashion expert, if that’s her best advice about leg coverings, then too bad for her and anyone who listens to her.  While I completely disagree with London about everything she says about pantyhose, I’ve got no problem with her actually saying it.  She’s entitled to say what she wants.  Where I have a problem with her is on her point about denier ratings.

She specifically says that it’s pantyhose with a denier rating of 30 that she finds objectionable.  She even cautions “If they come in an egg, you don’t want to wear them,” referring to the L’Eggs brand (owned by Hanes) of the 1970s and 80s.   But she’s wrong.  L’Eggs and their competitors (the most widely-known one being No Nonsense) made their pantyhose in a 20 denier rating.

As she said, denier rating determines how sheer the nylon fabric is.  The lower the number, the more sheer the pantyhose.  When I created ActSensuous in 2001, I looked into the 10 denier rating she referred to, and yes, they are super sheer, but the fabric is coarse and not very natural looking.  They are not soft or silky at all, and while there may be a market for them, it’s not a very big one.  You almost never see anyone wearing pantyhose like these.  And, yes, denier ratings as high as 50 are available, but they are tights that are thick and, in my view, not suitable in some venues, such as a formal dinner engagement, nor for proper business attire.

No, my problem with London’s remarks are about the pantyhose of the 1970s and 80s being so awful.  I loved pantyhose in the 70s and 80s, and I’ve never known of a 30 denier rating.   But what do I know?  The pantyhose of those decades were made almost entirely of 100 percent nylon fabric in a 20 denier, which is exactly why I made ActSensuous in a 20 denier.  I think those are precisely the kind of pantyhose that true pantyhose lovers love.  Those are the style, the look and the feel that we all miss.  Maybe London meant to say a 20 denier rating is what is so awful.

By the way, ActSensuous has hundreds and hundreds of customers from all over the world, literally from Atlanta to Bangkok, from California to Denmark, from New York to New Zealand.  We’re big in England, France and Australia.  We have customers from China, Korea and Japan.  I don’t think there is a country in which we don’t have customers.  And they all tell us ActSensuous are the softest, sheerest and sexiest pantyhose they’ve worn.  But, really, what do we all know?  We’re not “fashion experts” like Stacy London and Boy Wonder.

In doing the research for this post, I ran across this forum on the Internet:

http://askville.amazon.com/honest-opinion-Stacy-London-Clinton-Kelly-Wear-show/DiscussionBoard.do?requestId=8011723&page=1

To the question:  “What’s your honest opinion of Stacy London and Clinton Kelly of What Not to Wear?  Do you like this Show …?,  most answers were negative, but even some of the supportive ones came out against their obvious negative slant against pantyhose.

I particularly love this response:

LindsaySheers said:

… Why is (Clinton Kelly) telling me what all men find sexually alluring on women?

A lot of gay men know a lot about fashion, but to get such advice on that subject, I would like a 2nd & 3rd & straight opinion.

… These two complete followers of Brittany and Sarah Jessica Parker have agreed that they do not like pantyhose, (fine), however, they dictate to their audience and columns that, “No one likes them.” “Everyone looks bad in them.” Etc…

I think my legs are my best feature and every boyfriend I have ever had have all confessed to me, after that shyness period passed, that they were all ‘ga ga’ for me (girls in general) when wearing sheer silky pantyhose (hence my nickname, given to me by my current boyfriend sitting kind of to the side here & still a little shy) and tights, but mostly the sheer nude/tan/beige hues.

Lastly, the show was/is not only incorrect on so many levels, but caters to and from their mindset only. Falling into this show would have you most likely ending up as a follower. Be a trendsetter, not a follower. Be stylish. Be sexy. Be yourself. Not what they insist on.

Let me tell you something: this LindsaySheers gets it.  Good for her.

If ever a case could be made for wearing pantyhose, click on the image to see the expanded version. Stacy London looks very lovely in this photo, but wait until you get to see a closeup of those legs.

You know, I want to like Stacy London.

She’s a beautiful and charismatic woman, she’s very intelligent, and she has accomplished great things in her life.

Before co-hosting “What Not to Wear,” she started her career as an editor at Vogue magazine, then, became a stylist for celebrities and designers, then, a fashion contributor on many Today show formats.

She is or has been a spokeswoman for several brands, including Revlon, Pantene, Woolite and Dr. Scholl’s® For Her Comfort Insoles.

Along with Kelly, she’s written a book, “Dress Your Best: The Complete Guide to Finding the Style That’s Right for Your Body.” 

I actually felt a little bad when I named Sarah Jessica Parker the first recipient of the ActSensuous Grizzly Awards because, when researching her for the piece, I actually found several pictures of her wearing pantyhose.   That’s right, the one celeb universally “credited” with creating the bare legs culture with her “Sex and the City” TV series and movies, actually wears pantyhose fairly regularly.   It was more symbolic that SJP had to get the first Grizzly Award.

But I don’t have any reluctance about bestowing upon Stacy London the second Grizzly Award.  I can’t find a single photo of her wearing pantyhose.  Granted, some of the pics of her on the Internet are of low resolution and too small a file to really be able to tell if she’s wearing or not.  But based on everything London says and stands for, I am pretty sure she is not wearing pantyhose in any of the pics on the Internet.  Certainly, she comes across as if she hates pantyhose, thinks they are old-fashioned and irrelevant today.

The dynamic duo, Clinton Kelly and Stacy London of TV's "What Not to Wear."

I liked “What Not to Wear” when it debuted in 2002.

I watched quite a few episodes and I remember longing to see London wearing pantyhose with those beautiful dresses and high heels she always wore.  But it never happened.

I thought that was such a missed opportunity on her part — a chance for her to show professionalism, class and elegance in the role she held.  But, to her, it wasn’t a missed opportunity at all.

This lady just doesn’t believe in pantyhose … period.

Like LindsaySheers, I too was upset and offended when I saw a video of London and Boy Wonder “explaining how to wear pantyhose,” especially when they admitted the video was made only because they were getting so many inquiries from consumers about why they never talked about pantyhose.   Then, when they said that nobody looks good in suntan pantyhose and no one should ever wear them, I realized that there is probably no one more deserving of the second ActSensuous Grizzly Award than Stacy London.

Here’s that video:

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/what-not-to-wear-how-to-wear-pantyhose.html

So, what do you think?   Could there be a more worthy recipient of the ActSensuous Grizzly Awards than Stacy London?

Credit ‘wear’ Credit is Due – Ann Curry


Robin Maryland, president, ActSensuous

“I’m Ann Curry, in for I guess nobody this morning – me, myself and I.  It’s nice to be able to say that, isn’t it?”

That’s how the multiple-award-winning veteran journalist debuted as co-host with Matt Lauer on NBC’s “Today” show this morning, replacing Meredith Vieira who held the post the past five years.

Curry, who had been on the “Today” show since 1997 as the news anchor, and was previously passed up for the co-host spot in favor of her friend Vieira, also is anchor of “Dateline NBC,” the network’s award-winning newsmagazine. She also regularly substitute-anchors on “NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams.” 

Curry’s been on my radar for some time now, but after two readers of this blog asked me to write about “news anchors and pantyhose,” and now, with Ann making her debut as co-host of “Today,” the timing is right.  

Meredith Vieira, left, co-host of the NBC "Today" television program, embraces her fellow co-host, Matt Lauer, as her successor, Ann Curry, looks on, during her final show, in New York, Wednesday, June 8, 2011. (AP Photo/Richard Drew)

Other than when she’s been on-location in a jungle, a desert, or a war-torn environment, I have never seen Ann Curry not wearing a dress or skirt suit with high heels and pantyhose. 

In this sad (OK, being honest here – sickening) time when so many women want to lose the pantyhose even at the highest corporate levels, I greatly admire, respect and absolutely love Ann Curry for her dedication to being professional, glamorous and ultra feminine in the way she dresses. 

In a minute, I’ll get to the part about news anchors and pantyhose, as it appears that it’s the network and cable executives who make wearing pantyhose a policy for their female stars, but it seems to me that Ann Curry would wear of her own volition.  And, of course, we know that Meredith Vieira is famous for her devotion to wearing pantyhose in her roles as co-host of TV news/talk shows, and as host of the game show, “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”

Ann Curry maintains her professional and elegant look during a recent guest appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

I love Ann Curry and Meredith Vieira because in addition to wearing on the job, they choose to wear dresses, heels and pantyhose when they make appearances at awards shows, publicity events and late night talk shows.  To me, that is the very height of professionalism, and it shows the true, very fine character of these women. 

This post could be three pages long if I wrote about all of Curry’s accomplishments and the awards she’s won, but there are many great stories on the Internet, which you can find yourself, and I encourage you to do so. 

Suffice it to say that Curry has distinguished herself in global humanitarian reporting, frequently traveling to remote areas of the world to cover under-reported stories.

“I try to do stories that make a difference – stories that affect the way people think, stories that people need to hear – and usually what drives me is to do stories about people who have no voice, people who have no political power, people who are overlooked by society.” – Ann Curry

Ann Curry is consistent in dressing professionally, as well as femininely, always showing her lovely legs in high heels and sheer pantyhose.

If you do a Google search for Ann Curry, you will find many images of her, almost always wearing a dress or a skirt with high heels and pantyhose.  

In fact, she is becoming pretty famous for her beautiful legs.   On Google, there are image categories devoted to just her legs or just her feet.  

I love that she is dedicated to dressing professionally as a journalist, but I think it’s equally impressive that she always looks very feminine, too.     

Of Japanese (mother) and American (father) descent, Ann is a very beautiful woman.  That’s enough to win her the millions of fans she has, but she’s also cute, funny, and sweet. 

Here is an excerpt from an interview last month with TV Guide Magazine: You were certainly the people’s choice to replace Meredith. Why do you think the Today audience likes you so much?

Curry: I would say that — almost to a fault, pretty much — what you see is what you get.  Sometimes I’ve been accused of being too exuberant in the morning. Once, I said “Good morning” three times with a goofy smile on my face. I’m as fallible as the next person. I’m as goofy and dopey and silly and caring as people think I am. Take me or leave me.

TV Guide Magazine: When your co-anchor job was announced, you said you felt like the computer nerd being asked to the prom by the high school quarterback. Does it matter to you that you’re not one of the cool kids?

Curry: I think there are more nerds in the world than there are cool people, so more people might get me than you realize. I do want people to like me, but I don’t want to be loved for something I’m not; I want to be loved for something I am.  What I am is someone who grabs people and hugs them even if other people think that’s weird. I am someone who is gong to wear her heart on her sleeve. I am someone who is going to care about stories when some people think, “Why do you bother?” My motivation is how do I reach the most people to tell the stories that matter most to them. However fallible I am as a human being, my intent is earnest and my effort is constant in the practice of providing viewers good information, which I know gives them power.

Awesome Ann Curry

There’s no denying Ann’s passion and humanity, but she also is extremely professional.  She’s a total class act who has forged a distinguished career. 

Ann Curry so deserves “Credit ‘wear’ Credit is due.”   I wish her much happiness and success as the new co-host of “Today.”

News anchors and pantyhose

MSNBC's Contessa Brewer and Courtney Hazlett.

In the entertainment world, everyone knows that “sex sells.”  While the news industry was never designed to be about entertainment or sex appeal, today’s broadcast news organizations know that in the ongoing battle for audience share, they have to attract and keep viewers coming back for more. 

Perhaps, demographics show that men make up the largest audience of TV news programs, which could explain the current trend that all the powerhouses seem to follow: Feature beautiful female anchors and reporters who wear dresses, skirts and pantyhose. 

 

CNN's Carol Castello dresses up any set in heels and pantyhose.

 

And these women aren’t your daddy’s crop of journalists.  They are well educated, talented professionals.  Oh yeah, and they’ve got legs and they know how to use them.   There’s no shortage of strong, sharp, pretty women anchoring news shows, such as CNN, Fox and MSNBC.  But wait a minute, don’t anchors pretty much just sit behind a desk?  For all we know they’re wearing a suit jacket and pajama bottoms with fuzzy slippers.  Ah, but the executives calling the shots find ways of getting these news babes out behind the desk, often sitting with studio guests, showing their pretty crossed legs with high heels and pantyhose.

And, when it comes to women who are dedicated to beauty and femininity, especially when it comes to wearing pantyhose, no culture understands this power better than Asia.

On its blog, HKTV writes:

“For many years, Bernie Lo was the host of Bloomberg’s morning show. He would inject humor into the daily headlines, which was a great tension reliever for guests or analysts reporting on the show. When Bernie returned to CNBC, Bloomberg had to make some choices. Competition from all directions came from networks including Fox Networks and CNBC.

“Now, … Bloomberg has a new strategy to attract new viewers … Susan Li’s legs.

Susan Li of Bloomberg Asia interviewing a financial analyst.

“Those opinions are clearly overlooking her skills as a broadcast journalist to keep the audience tuned in to “First Up with Susan Li on Bloomberg Television. 

Susan Li's interviews are concise and get right to the point to capture viewer attention. Of course, her legs can do that without saying a word.

“Susan Li also uses clear, simple language during the interview.  She does not let the analysts and fund managers “talk their book,” which is a practice where guests provide recommendations that benefit their investments; instead, Susan Li often politely asks the guests to clarify their statements.

Susan Li of Bloomberg Asia discusses market data with a guest analyst.

“The clarification sometimes leads to more thoughtful discourse, as her use of clear language to highlight the main ideas translates the “analyst speak” for Bloomberg TV viewers. Clarifying analyst comments or recommendations maintains the credibility of the Bloomberg brand, while subtly signaling to the guest that the interview is a discussion and not a sales pitch.”

Of course, there are many other news anchors and in-studio broadcast reporters who are talented and professional, and know how to capture viewers with their glamorous and sexy looks. 

Did I leave out your favorites?   Please let us know who your favorite news anchors in pantyhose are.

Meanwhile, here’s another picture of Susan Li and her gorgeous legs in pantyhose.

Look at the texture of Susan Li's delicious pantyhose. Is that guest trying to discreetly cop a feel?

 

Who’s the next Pantyhose Goddess?


Robin Maryland, president, ActSensuous

Hollywood has always blessed us with glamorous actresses who set the beauty standards of the day.

From the late 1960s through the mid-1990s, nylons were as much a staple in Hollywood as makeup.  So while it wasn’t unusual (until now) to see a TV or movie star wearing nylons on screen, a few actresses actually distinquished themselves as what I am calling Pantyhose Goddesses.

Julie Newmar appeared on Broadway in the 1950s, and had many starring roles in television and movies during the 1960s, possibly none more auspicious than her role as Catwoman on the Batman TV series.

At 5’11, 135 pounds and with 37-inch legs, it wasn’t hard to notice Newmar, but she was more than just a Hollywood glam-girl.  She did one thing that will link her to pantyhose forever – she designed her own, actually winning a patent for her design in the mid 1970s.  She called the pantyhose “Nudemar” and marketed them during the 70s and 80s.

Julie Newmar was a true Pantyhose Goddess in her day.

She said she invented them out of necessity:

“I have two drawers of pantyhose, but I don’t like what they do for my backside.

“It’s a simple improvement.  I just gathered the back seam, but it gives a woman the firm fanny of a 12-year-old.”

I like the fact that she had two drawers full of pantyhose.

In the 1970s, Catherine Bach played the character, Daisy Duke on the Dukes of Hazzard TV series, wearing short, tight cut-off jean shorts, which would become known as “Daisy Dukes.”      Apparently, network censors believed that the cut-offs were so short, that the the producers could get them on air only if Bach wore sheer-to-waist pantyhose with them, to ensure that the shorts didn’t reveal more of her than intended.

Bach certainly created a pantyhose identity for herself, if not an entire fashion trend.

But, perhaps, no actress aligned herself with pantyhose more than Joyce DeWitt during the 1970s TV series, Three’s Company.   On its Web site, Central New York Promotions states:

Being an avid pantyhose wearer, DeWitt is famous for refusing to do any scenes bare-legged. When shooting Three’s Company (1977), she always wore either pantyhose or tights, and refused to work bare-legged. Though this caused conflict between her and the show’s producers, it endeared her to hosiery manufacturers, and she became the spokeswoman for L’eggs pantyhose in the late 70s.”

That kind of professionalism, commitment to femininity and just plain good taste is very rare today.  I liked Joyce DeWitt’s style back then, but having learned her story, I’m even more impressed with her now.

I wonder:  What other actresses could or should have become Pantyhose Goddesses back in the day?

     Again, during the 70s, 80, and 90s, pantyhose were the standard of class, elegance and glamour, so actresses wearing them on screen wasn’t at all unusual.  Still, some stars just stood out from the crowd, and in the process, pantyhose gained cult-level status.

Kim Basinger starred in many movies during the 1990s, always wearing beautiful sheer pantyhose.

During the 80s and 90s, I have to say that my favorite stars who could have earned the title of Pantyhose Goddess were Kim Basinger, Michelle Pfeiffer, Linda Fiorentino and Geena Davis.

And then, there was Markie Post, Goldie Hawn, Shelly Long and Christina Applegate — all truly lovely and classy pantyhose babes.

Honorable mention could go to Jennifer Tilly, who was almost always seen in pantyhose and looked awesome in them; Fran Drescher, who really did align herself with pantyhose; and one Parker Posey, who actually was known as “Miss Pantyhose.”  This was never more evident than in the role she played as a vampire in the third installment of  Wesley Snipes’ Trinity trilogy.

Today more than ever, we need a Pantyhose Goddess in Hollywood – someone whose beauty, class and grace is so awe-inspiring that, when she permanently aligns herself with the wearing of pantyhose, it would make for an irresistable combination that would once again propel pantyhose to cult-type status.

Sandra Bullock

She’s always been so classy, and, until I saw The Proposal, I didn’t think I’d ever see her not wearing pantyhose.  She kinda let me down on this one, especially because her role in this movie was a corporate executive.

Even though she is beautiful and classy, I don’t really see Sandra in the Pantyhose Goddess role.  I think deep down, she’s sees herself as kind of a tomboy.

I believe she’ll usually choose to wear pantyhose for the proper occasion, but I don’t think it would be for any reason other than just good sense.

Nicole Kidman’s fabulous legs are always in pantyhose on screen.

Nicole Kidman

I don’t know if she’s been around long enough, is sought-after enough or revered enough, but I would love to see Nicole take this title.

Lately, I never see her on screen not wearing pantyhose, and it would be hard to find someone who looks better in them than her.

I’ve always liked Nicole, and I think she’s got the class and grace to be the one.

Milla Jovovich

The more I see her, the more I love her.  She is beautiful, but she’s also powerful and edgy.  And she’s here and now.

I love her in the Resident Evil movies, and I’ve seen her in many public appearances where she almost always is wearing pantyhose.   Not only that, but she also is a professional model who more often than not is shot in sheer pantyhose.

Milla is classy and cool, and I think she deserves to be considered a true Pantyhose Goddess.

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Catherine Zeta-Jones has the beauty and class to be the current Hollywood Pantyhose Goddess.

Catherine always carries herself with class and grace, and I never see her not wearing pantyhose.

There’s just something very captivating about her.

She has the beauty and the charisma to be the next Pantyhose Goddess, but also, she’s got the credibility and the relevance that it would take.

Morena Baccarin

That’s right, Anna, the head alien visitor on the TV series, V.

If an evil overgrown lizard who’s out to take over Earth can look that incredible in pantyhose (and she is never not wearing them on the show) she gets my vote for Hollywood Pantyhose Goddess.

Update 2013:   OK, I had based that opinion when this was written in 2010 only on what I saw of her in V,   having never heard of her before that show. Since then, I’ve seen her on many a late night talk show where she wears beautiful dresses and heels, but no pantyhose … ever!  And I’ve seen many photos of her during publicity appearances, also mostly “bear”-legged.

Just goes to show that at the end of the day, you really can’t trust an alien visitor trying to take over the world.  Too bad because Baccarin certainly looks amazing in pantyhose.  Yet, “The truth is out there:”  She doesn’t look good at all “bear”-legged.

Julianna Margulies

She might already have this title, and that would suit me just fine.  As The Good Wife, she always dresses professionally and looks great in pantyhose.  Better still, she most-often makes public appearances and guest spots on late night talk shows dressed the same way.

It really bothers me when the big stars, even when they wear pantyhose for their roles on screen, think they’re somehow obligated to follow the “trend” and go bare-legged out in public, especially, if it’s a talk show with a younger host who caters to a younger audience.

But that’s not the case with Julianna.  She always dresses beautifully and does the right thing by wearing pantyhose.  Maybe she should be the Hollywood Pantyhose Goddess.  Maybe she already is.

Update 2013:  All that might have been true when this was written in 2010, but it seems Margulies has allowed herself to be brainwashed by the masses, as I’ve seen her “bear”-legged a few times during public appearances.   That seems to indicate that it’s the professionalism, class and good taste strictly of the costume designer and producers of The Good Wife and NOT Margulies herself who deserves the credit for her wearing pantyhose on the show.

Meredith Vieira

Meredith already is a Pantyhose Goddess.  Here’s why:  Not only does she always wear pantyhose on TV shows and in public appearances, she actually has gone on record saying she “likes wearing pantyhose,” even admitting that she doesn’t wear anything underneath.

Meredith definitely deserves consideration for Pantyhose Goddess.  The question is:  Is she relevant enough today?

Honorable mention

Obviously, Anne Hathaway and Zooey Deschanel deserve consideration for Hollywood Pantyhose Goddess.  Of the two, Zooey is the more devoted and consistent wearer for all occasion and venues.  I didn’t feature Anne and Zooey here only because I think they’re too obvious, and both already might be Hollywood Pantyhose Goddesses.

Finally, I’ve got to say that I like what I see from Megan Fox, Kate Moss, Jessica Alba and Kate Beckinsale.  And, thankfully, there are many other young actresses out there who seem to understand the allure of pantyhose.  Are they ready to become Hollywood’s next Pantyhose Goddesses?  Perhaps.

OK, who’d I leave out?  I know you have your favorites, and I’d like to hear who they are and what you have to say about them.